They're everywhere. At the gym. On the T. At bars. The beach, gas station, restaurants, walking, biking, laughing, smiling, holding hands. Barf.
The couple. They haunt me. Everywhere I go I can't help but notice happy couples together in their own la la happy land where nothing else matters but each other, where they can live in eternal bliss. I wish they would all vanish. I don't want to see them, hear them, even think about them. I may sound like an angry divorcee who has sworn off men and relationships, but I am just the opposite. I am missing my husband. He has been gone for way too long.
Whenever I see a couple out in public, I can't help but resent them. I can't help but look at them and shake my head because they have no idea how easy they have it. I always feel that they haven't truly learned what love is if they haven't been through a deployment. What really gets under my skin is when a girl will complain that her boyfriend went out of town for a few days and she "totally knows how I feel." Haha. Riiight. All I can do is laugh. Ignorance is bliss, I suppose.
However, when I meet a military couple who has been through a deployment, there is an instant bond, an understanding. There's the obvious bond between Blaze, Biscuit and I. We have all been through it and they know exactly how I feel. There is the reassurance from Biscuit that the feelings I have are normal and she had them too and the things that Hubby is going through, Blaze went through as well. More importantly, there is respect. There is a respect that I have for Blaze and Biscuit because they, too, have endured more than most couples could even fathom. There is a mutual understanding.
I cannot wait for the day when Hubby and I carry on our newly wed routines and join those couples that I resent. The thought of being back in Hawaii seems so distant that I can't even imagine what it will be like. Even though R and R is only two months away, I still can't picture Hubby and I doing things together. In 67 days, Hubby and I will temporarily be back in la la happy land. It can't come soon enough.
2 comments:
I thought it was intresting when you said "Whenever I see a couple out in public, I can't help but resent them. I can't help but look at them and shake my head because they have no idea how easy they have it. I always feel that they haven't truly learned what love is if they haven't been through a deployment. "
I can only imagine how hard it must be for you to be away from your loved one, but always remember to look at the bright side. Things could always be worse. I believe that every relationship has their own unique struggles, wheither is be as simple as an emotion struggle, or as major as watching the person you love become sick. What you must take from those struggles is the strength you gain, and the knowledge that no matter what happens you will stand by your loved ones side. There is a great quote that I always love to play in my head when I think that my life cant get any worse: "We are all lying the gutters, but some of us are staring up at the stars". Just be grateful every day that you have met the love of your life, and that he will be home soon; because after all doesnt that give you the upper hand than more people you know?
Good luck = )
You know that I know exactly what you are going through. Take those feelings of resentment towards happy couples and spread it over three years. I will even admit that I have felt those feelings toward you and Hubby a couple of times. Hey, you got to spend three more months in Hawaii than I did. Haha either way, we are halfway and then it will be over. No more separation. Hang in there.
CityGirl
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