Half way there...

It's hard to believe that we've already made it through half of this deployment. Seven and a half months have come and gone and I still can't get over the fact that I have not seen Hubby since December. Sometimes I feel that the hardest part is over, but sometimes, I feel that the hardest part is yet to come. The past seven months flew by, but July has been crawling. I'm not sure if it's because R&R is on the horizon. Being just under two months away, it seems that those two months should just fly by, right? Well logically, since the past seven have gone so quickly, you would think that the next two would do the same. Well, all logic is thrown out when it comes to counting down. It seems that the closer I get, the slower time passes. Somehow, I feel like September is never going to get here. Everyday, I think of driving to the airport to pick up Hubby and running into his comforting arms once again. But, every time I think of it, I can't really picture it happening. It just seems like some far away dream that is just that, a dream, and will never become reality. 

The hardest thing that I have come across throughout this experience, is that slowly, as the months have passed, when I close my eyes, I cannot picture Hubby's face. I can't see us doing things together, I can't see the way he looks at me, or his smile or his mannerisms. I can see him from pictures I have in frames in my room, but I just can't seem to remember what it looks like when he comes home from work and sees me waiting for him by the door. That hurts. 

When I do daydream about Hubby's R&R homecoming, I picture my giddy self arriving at the airport several hours before his flight is scheduled to arrive, heading to the USO so I can make my way to the gate through which he will come, and I picture myself having serious butterflies in my stomach, and probably calling Biscuit for some reassurance. I can see all the people filing off the plane and finally seeing Hubby in his uniform and running toward him, wrapping my arms around his neck. The only thing I can't see from that day is his face.