Military Hierarchy.

While yesterday wasn't nearly as bad as when Hubby left the first time, it was still hard nonetheless. My experience yesterday is a worse experience than most people will have to deal with in their marriages or relationships, well aside from death or divorce, obviously. The second goodbye is still painful. I never want to be used to my husband being gone, I never want to get to the point where another goodbye is just another goodbye, to the point where it doesn't even affect me that much. I never want a marriage like that. Since my first Army wife experiences, never have I bought into the Army wife hierarchy. In their world you are not just Jane Doe, no, no, you are *insert rank* Doe's wife. The higher up's wives do not associate with the younger wives and really want nothing to do with them. Being Lt. Hubby's wife, I was pretty low ranking on the Army wife scale. So ridiculous to me. There are those women though, who do buy into it, maybe for traditions sake, maybe because that's their only thing, moving around every four years doesn't give many military wives the opportunity to really become successful in a career. Maybe the hierarchy is their way of feeling successful and important. When really, they are simply wearing their husband's rank. That however, is not my beef with these women. What bothers me the most is that many military wives keep their feelings away from their deployed husbands, because the husbands have better things to worry about. Yes, they do have better things to worry about and I try not to tell Hubby things that would stress him out or things that he has no control over. However, I feel that if a wife keeps all of her emotions inside and never expresses them to her husband, wouldn't he feel that she doesn't need him? Plus, what kind of marriage is it when you can't talk about your feelings and emotions? Hubby tells me what's on his mind, what's bothering him or stressing him out and in turn, I tell him the same. As a normal, healthy marriage should work. I just never want to be so caught up in the strict Army wife standards that it, in turn, bruises my marriage. Upholding certain standards is important in the military world, my marriage is a lot more important.