Home!

Well, after 15 long months apart, I just received a phone call from Hubby letting me know that he just arrived on the island. The welcome home ceremony is in just 3 hours. I am about to leave our new condo to go pick up my husband. How exciting is that?!!!!

My mom, my friend

My mom and I had a busy week when we first arrived in Hawaii, it was packed full of moving and shopping and errands and everything and anything you could possibly think of and I couldn't have asked for someone better to have done it with. I hear a lot of girls say that their mom's are their best friends, but few truly mean it. After spending the last 15 months at home, I can honestly say that my mom really is my best friend. During my time at home, I did pretty much everything with her and I think that is why it was so hard when she left yesterday. I have always had a really hard time when my parents left me somewhere, at college and whatnot, I would bawl my eyes out as soon as they left or before they left and would ask them to take me home with them. I am a homebody at heart. I can't say that this time was any different. However, after becoming closer with my mom in the past year and a half, I almost think this goodbye was harder. As soon as the day she was scheduled to leave was in sight, I began to get down and homesick. I cried before we left for the airport, I cried at the airport, I cried on my way home from the airport. It has been a hard couple of days and I have been trying to keep myself busy until Hubby comes home. Before I moved home, I had been away for so long that I had forgotten how wonderful it is to have a real relationship with my family and friends and not just a long distance relationship. I had wanted to move to Charleston, SC after Hubby got out of the Army, but having lived at home for the past 15 months, I realized what's most important. One of my good friend's, Stacy, said it best, 'what good is a big house if you have no family or friends to fill it.' Well, that is exactly it. Hubby and I could live in South Carolina and have a very nice, very larger house, but neither of us have family there and neither of us have friends there anymore. To me, family and friends are just so much more important than a warm climate or a cheap housing market. At the end of the day, I want my family to be a part of my life, not just on the phone. I want my kids to know Grammy and Papa as so much more than 'those two people' they have to go visit a few times a year. Point being, in my time at home, I think my priorities have changed. After becoming so close to not just my mom, but my dad as well and not to mention my friends, I just cannot imagine living anywhere else.

That being said, Hubby is coming home tomorrow night. I am excited, but really nervous. We have never spent any substantial amount of time together, and when we had, there is always an end in sight. I guess I am just nervous about starting my married life. I can't wait, but I do have some obvious nerves. Tomorrow will be an amazing night and I just cannot wait for it!

The next chapter

Needless to say, the last couple of days at home were jam-packed full of goodbyes and getting ready to move my life from the frosty Massachusetts winter to the blustery Hawaiian sun. Dealing with this move, changing my life again, was not easy for me as I have always felt that I never dealt well with change. As I said goodbye to my ailing 90 year old grandmother, my new best friends, my old best friends, acquaintances and my family, I felt a pit in my stomach forming. How could I leave all of these people behind? Somehow though, as I rubbed my eyes when my alarm jolted my out of a deep sleep (accompanied by my cat, Max) at 2am, none of those thoughts really bothered me. As I wheeled my suitcase out of my bedroom, I paused to take it all in, to say goodbye per se. My parents were waiting in the car as tears came to my eyes as I rubbed, kissed and hugged the second and third loves of my life for the last time for a long while. Max kissed me back with his little wet nose and Ruby grunted as I interrupted her while she was eating, I do love those kitties. I pulled the last of my bags down the stairs and hopped in the car. We made it to the airport in no time at all since the only people on the road at the ungodly hour of 3am were those crazies who wanted to save a buck on their plane tickets by scheduling a 5am departure. The three of us made our way to the check-in counter with relative ease, as we got to the security line, Mom and I said goodbye to Dad. I felt my eyes burn with tears and a lump form in my throat as I hugged him and told him I loved him. I blinked away the tears as I pulled away and got into the line. As our plane ascended into the Boston sky, I stared out my window and bid farewell to my city until the next time. The most painful goodbyes were finally over and I didn’t really cry.
About eight hours later, Mom and I arrived in sunny San Diego and met my mother-in-law by the luggage carousel, we would be spending a weekend with my in-laws before continuing to Hawaii. We had the greatest weekend with them, I have been blessed with wonderful in-laws. They showed us around the city, did just enough touristy things without being a tourist, if that makes sense. We caught up, we talk and laughed and just had a great time together. Last night, Marsha invited two couples over for dinner, her two best friends and their husbands. What wonderful people. I truly hope that when Hubby and I are their age, we are surrounded by wonderful friends and family as well, that is what makes life complete. Whenever I visit San Diego without Hubby, my favorite part is learning more about him, seeing where he came from and what he was like when he was younger, I love looking at all the pictures in their house, it makes me feel closer to Hubby even when he is so far away.
As I write this, I am sitting on a plane en route to Hawaii. On the way for the number one love of my life to be back home with me, on the way to the beginning of the rest of our lives. The excitement I have is bubbling inside me, my stomach filled with butterflies just waiting to get out. So many days and nights while Hubby was gone, I felt like this day would never come. I have dreamt of this so many times and now it is finally here and it doesn’t seem real. In just about a week and a half, Hubby and I will finally be able to start our lives together. I am amazed in myself for making it through, I am amazed by Hubby for being so courageous. I truly do admire him for what he has been through, I am so proud of my husband. Finally, every night before I go to bed, I will be able to turn to him and kiss him goodnight, what greater joy is there?

Heavy Burdens

Thursday was my last day at work and since then I have been getting things ready to head back to Hawaii. It's really amazing how it didn't cost me anything to move home, aside from the plane ticket, but moving back has been costing a small fortune. Since airlines have decided to nickel and dime its consumers to death, it now cost $15 per bag to check and if it's over 50 pounds, $75 each. I weighed my options, overstuff a couple suitcases and pay $150 or pay to ship out excess belongings. I chose the latter. I have packed up seven boxes that need to be shipped to Hawaii via USPS. I have been hoping, praying that nothing gets lost. It has amazed me how fast the last month went by, it always seems that when you have a lot to do, there's no time to do it in. I have a 'to do' list about three pages long and even though I've been spending each day working on it, it never seems to get shorter. So much to do and so little time to do it in.

This coming weekend it pretty packed with friends, family and goodbyes. My friends, 'Blaze & Biscuit,' to which I have referred them, are throwing me a going away party on Friday at their house. It should be a lot of fun, our group of friends from high school, food and drinks, does it get any better than that? I am truly blessed to have found such great friends in them over this deployment. They both took care of me in a way that is hard to explain; they understand. They get what I am going through because they have done it before, more than once. I feel forever indebited to them for what they have done for me over the past 14 months. My sister is coming to town from New Mexico on Saturday for my grandmother's 90th birthday party. My cousin and I planned the party and I just know it will be wonderful. All of the grandkids will be there, Gram is so excited when she talks about it, truly something has been looking forward to for a long time.

With the excitement of Hubby coming home and heading back to Hawaii, comes a sadness and anxiety about leaving home. My family, especially my parents, have been so supportive during this, and I know I am lucky to have been blessed with such a wonderful mom and dad who love me unconditionally. Since Hubby has been gone, I've realized just how important family and friends are to me and while it is exciting that we'll be living in Hawaii, it saddens me to know how far I will be from my family and friends.

That being said, I am overjoyed that Hubby is coming home so soon, just about 20 days or so. We have been through so much in the last 14 months and I am still in disbelief that it is finally winding down and that we made it through. Since we've been married in July 2007, we have spent a total of two and a half months together. To have him home and know that he is here to stay is something that I cannot fathom, mainly because it has never been that way before. Our whole relationship has been long-distance and to not have to deal with that anymore will be such a burden lifted off of our shoulders.